Dark Lordess

:D :D Your flashback is wonderful. It really clears up a lot and I can understand Kay's motives for things now. :P The dialogue is great. You make me so ...

I didn't think the character changes were too sudden. Senzieda also saved Mizdon's son, Markus, and Gietan. The wording here is a bit confusing. At first I thought you meant ...

This is great. I think it gets better every chapter! :P I'll try to do character impressions. Lusien - She seems determined that they are doomed and won't succeed but ...

Much better! :D "I will accompany you as far as the gate. We will be even then," Maviance announced. So this is the sort of man he is, Jyslan thought, ...

I agree with you. This is my favorite so far. :D The passage from the book is very good. Very mysterious. :P Her mouth moved in one last sentence, but ...

I think you should continue this, but i agree with bubblewrapped. I also think you should have written a bit more. I haven't read enough to judge this yet.